WHY IS YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE?
In plain terms, love language is the best way or means an individual feels loved the most or the best way one is able to show love. It is the way a person prefers to receive or express love. Primarily, there are 5 love languages; Words of affirmation, Quality time, Acts of service, Receiving gifts, and Physical touch.
I read something recently and I agree with it; sometimes our love languages can be reflections of what lacked as children or what we had in abundance. Personally, my top love language has always been words of affirmation and for a while, I wondered why that was my love language. Then reading that article, I realized words of affirmation make me feel loved because it was something I lacked in my childhood.
I grew up in a home where you rarely get compliments. Even when you achieve or do something good and outsiders compliment you, my parents would instead point out ways you could have done it better or little mistakes here and there, because of this, compliments were rare for me and I only got them from strangers. So growing up, whenever I got compliments or positive words, it made me feel a certain kind of way; special, bigger, and really good. It was something I hardly got, so it always meant a lot to me.
I would play scenes in my head where I got compliments over and over again. I still do that now, and this showed in my relationships with people too. You could buy me the world or show the biggest actions and it wouldn’t move me, words did and I know that might be shallow sometimes because words can be deceptive and people can say only what you want to hear or what they do not mean but regardless, that is how I feel about words of affirmation.
The other part is how I express or show love the most. Now, the way you feel loved the most may not necessarily be the way you show love the most. The best way I feel loved is through words of affirmation, but the best way I give love is through acts of service. I grew up doing things for people a lot. People hardly did things for me, instead, I had to do things for people. This carried on to other aspects of my life too, I show love the most by doing things for anyone I love. I would show up anytime you want me to, and do thoughtful things that make you happy even if they are things I don’t necessarily fancy. It is the best and easiest way for me to show someone I love them.
When someone performs acts of service for me as a love language, I would not necessarily feel loved as much as if it were words of affirmation.
This may not be applicable to everyone, some people’s love languages may be tied to an entirely different situation but this perspective is very much valid to a lot of people.
Why is your love language your love language?
