Tales with no titles(4)

I was inside the shop when he came around this night and I was trying to charge my phone when he stood just outside the shop. I looked up and I saw him. My heart must have missed fifty beats at that second and I struggle to gain composure. I walk out from inside the shop to meet him and ask what he wants to buy. As I get close to him, standing face to face with just a few centimeters between us, my heart starts to beat rapidly. Damn! He was gorgeous! So gorgeous I could just lick him all over. I ask with a straight face what he wanted and my nostrils caught his smell, he smelled good, he always did every time he came and I never missed his smell. I could tell he’s the type to invest a good deal in trying to smell good and he did smell good. His cologne filled the air and it was comforting to inhale, it didn’t smell harsh and suffocating as some guys’ would, it was….subtle…yet intoxicating. If I had the chance, I would hold him tight and sniff him with every breath in me and drown myself in the comfort of that smell.
As he spoke telling me what he wanted to buy, I focus on his lips, it was beautiful and I wondered what it would taste like, then I stare at his whole face, his full neatly cut hair, his beards, oh those beards, full and clean. I would bury my hands and run them in those beards soothingly if I got the chance. He was light-skinned. Usually, I am never attracted to light-skinned men, they always sort of look…weird and too bright in my eyes but he…he was different. The first light-skinned man that ever caught my attention. He had the perfect height, wasn’t too tall, yet, not short. His voice made my ears feel like it was being caressed with expensive Arabian oil, it was low and soothing, and I wondered how that voice would sound like if my head was between his legs and I had him in my mouth and he was floating with pleasure. I grinned devilishly at the thought.
He had said what he wanted but I didn’t hear, I had been distracted, of course, and I ask again. He answers and as I go back to get him what he requested to buy, my hands start to shake. I was affected and under the influence of his powerful presence, so much that I couldn’t even be myself.
Just then, another customer comes to get something and I hiss inwardly, I wanted to be left alone with him. I didn’t want anyone coming to invade our privacy. If alone, chances are he could ask for my number. I’ve seen the way he slightly looks at me sometimes, maybe I’m reaching but I know he notices me too, maybe not as intense as I do, but he notices me. I know that. Dozie had told me one time that he asked about me, well not as I would have wanted but he did ask, which means he notices me. I knew before then that he notices me though, but I wasn’t sure, and Dozie telling me that day confirmed my speculation. He had asked Dozie if I was temperamental because I looked harsh. I laughed and waved it off casually, I didn’t want Dozie having funny thoughts because Dozie wanted me, and the last thing I would want to do is make him know I was interested in his ‘friend’ instead, I say friend because that’s the only word that comes to my head. I know they are probably not friends but at least they know each other. I’m relieved that he asked that though, because now I know it’s not obvious the effect he has on me, I’m relieved that he doesn’t know I’m obsessed and whenever he comes around I lose all my hard-girl composure.
As I make to give him what he wants, he excuses himself to take a call. Good. I would attend to this new customer fast and make sure the customer goes before he gets back and then we can be alone, again. Then another customer comes, and another, and another. Soon the shop is filled and I am annoyed. Why did they all choose this time to come here? They would ruin things for me, I wanted to be alone with him. I didn’t even know his name and he didn’t come around often so I only saw him sometimes. He lives on my street, I know, but I don’t exactly know where. Normally, I would stalk him on social media and obsess over him but I did not know his name. It wasn’t hard to do that, all I just needed was his name and I would dig out his social media pages no matter what.

I had seen him with a girl once and my chest felt tight with envy. Who was she? Was she his girlfriend? Why was he making her laugh so much? I should hate her, but I didn’t. Instead, I was jealous of her, she had what I was dreaming of having, what I fantasized about, and when they came to the shop that night, she laughed like a schoolgirl and they spoke in hush tones. I assessed her, she was thick, or what some would call chubby. Yes, I think chubby is the word, and she was short, dark-skinned but she wasn’t pretty. If she was, I would have been extra jealous. I comforted myself with that, I was pretty and she wasn’t. I also comforted myself with the thought that she could have been his family member. She didn’t look like the type of girl he would be attracted to. Maybe she was his cousin. She had to be his cousin.
I am really not a shy person and I know it wouldn’t cost me anything to give him a compliment and ask for his number. I had wanted to do this the first time I ever saw him but I cautioned myself to be patient, he could turn out to be one of those beautiful men with no substance. So I choose to be patient, watching him and taking my time. I could seduce him if I wanted to, the subtle kind of seduction, but he always came around like rain without signs of heavy clouds. I could get him if I really wanted to, getting whoever I had eyes on has never been a problem for me.
I knew I wanted him, badly. What for, was what I had no answer to.