Sexual abuse of the boy-child

Photo by Terricks Noah on Unsplash

Sexual abuse of boys is an occurrence so mildly addressed that it has become worrying. Many men have experiences of being abused as children but why do we not pay so much attention to it? Almost every grown male I have spoken with on this issue have personal stories of how they were violated as kids mostly by an older female. One thing worthy of note though is that these men do not see it as abuse. To them, it was just something that happened in their childhood. A person I spoke to once said, “I enjoyed it then and it didn’t seem like a bad thing.” How do we even address and solve the issue when the victims do not even see themselves as victims?

Parents also need to pay more attention to raising the boy child. Boys need to be taught what abuse looks like and that they can be victims. They need to be taught that when an older female or male takes advantage of your innocence and ignorance as a kid to violate you, it is abuse. It is a common practice in our African society for parents to neglect their male children in sexual education matters. The girls are told that they must be virgins till they are married but the same is never said to the boys. The females are told to dress decently so that they won’t be assaulted but nobody tells the boys that a woman’s dressing is never an invitation to assault or harass. It is never considered that a boy child is susceptible to abuse.

Another thing worthy of note is that unlike female sexual abuse cases where predators achieve their aim by exerting violence and force, female abusers do not use force or violence. Victims are lured and enticed instead, part of the reasons while the abused doesn’t see it as abuse.

Thoughts?

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