Is Physical Attraction important?
I write this post as a single woman and one of the things I suck at doing when it comes to relationships is experimenting. I say this because if I was great at it, I would have found an answer to the question above by now.
Recently I was having a conversation with two married women and we were talking in the lines of physical attraction as a prerequisite for marriage. One significant thing that shook me and scared me in this conversation was the fact that these two women mentioned that initially they were never attracted to their husbands. One of them even stated that she never thought of him as her “spec.” This spiked my curiosity and I asked, “so how are you married to him?” She mentioned ( not verbatim) that she married him because he could give her stability and he was ready to build a home, this made her choose him.
This reply sent a knot to my stomach and I did not know how to feel about it. I have always been an advocate of the importance of physical attraction. I always say that I would never be with someone I don’t find physically attractive, please note that when I say physically attractive, I mean to me. I am not saying I want the most gorgeous man in the room (I don’t even want that) but I’m saying I need to be with someone I can look at and like what I see. Of course this isn’t the only or most important factor to consider before being with someone but it is an important factor. I need to look at you and feel excitement in my chest, I need to feel those butterflies before time fades them away.
Personally I have tried a little in the past to love and be with someone who was nearly perfect but wasn’t physically attractive. All I can say is, I didn’t even stick around long enough to see if it would work. I felt uninterested because I wasn’t even liking what my eyes were seeing. I think that for someone like me, if I had entertained that relationship, I would have detested that person at the end of the day. It would have been an ugly turnout so I didn’t even bother to fully try.
Why can’t I have a partner I am physically attracted to and is also good to me and treats me right? Why should it be one or the other?
